I Am the Wolf - Developing Masculinity - How to Support Boys in Developing Their Masculine Identity

Developing masculinity based on values ​​such as gender equality, tolerance, and respect is key to shaping the healthy men of the future. In the context of raising boys, it's crucial that we make these key components of defining masculinity.

Boys who develop healthy masculinity become true men – responsible, confident, empathetic, and open to others. By supporting boys in their development, we create a more equal society, where every person is valued and respected. However, contemporary parenting and psychological advances do not have to contradict traditional understandings of manhood and raising boys. So how can parents and guardians support boys in this process?

In harmony with your emotions and social norms

Modern boys are developing in a world completely different from that of their grandparents and even fathers. The role of men in the world has changed somewhat, and we increasingly ask ourselves how we should raise young men to be happy adults in the future. Psychology comes to the rescue, with decades of research and achievements providing us with some guidance.

Currently , we're focusing on relationships and feelings. A child equipped with a solid foundation of understanding their own and others' feelings, respect, empathy, and a sense of belonging will grow into a strong and happy man. It's worth talking to boys about the kind of people they want to be and the qualities they value in their dads, brothers, uncles, and grandparents. What they understand by being a boy and a man, and how they see themselves in these roles in the future.

It's also important to pay attention to a child's individual feelings and needs. Acceptance and the joy of self-expression give boys a sense of confidence, agency, and pride in their achievements. To support your child's development, you can follow general guidelines, such as:

Provide your son with positive male role models and quality time with his father

The best way to teach our children is by setting an example. Pay attention to admirable behavior from loved ones, friends, and teachers. Provide your boy with quality time with male family members, spent engaging in "manly" conversations or learning useful skills. These can include traditionally masculine activities, such as DIY with dad, or other activities that broaden a child's horizons, such as a trip to the philharmonic with his grandfather.

Teach boys that emotions are natural

Boys, like girls, have the right to express their emotions. Often, culture pressures them to be "strong" and not show their feelings. Therefore, it's important to teach boys that expressing emotions isn't a sign of weakness, but of strength.

Show that each gender has its own role but can work together successfully

Housework, childcare, and emotional care aren't the exclusive domain of women. Harmony and balance are paramount. Show your child the roles of father and mother in the family, but also that they can change to support the other. Set an example of strong women and men who break gender stereotypes, such as fathers who care for children daily. Such openness will help your child find his or her future role in the family and the world.

Support diversity of interests

Boys are naturally drawn to sports and technical interests. Nurturing these passions also fosters meeting new friends and learning social skills. Boys need relationships with other children, both in male and mixed groups. Therefore, group bike rides, computer games, or soccer matches will contribute to a child's healthy development. However, don't limit your toddler to boyish activities. If your child wants to try crafts or dancing, for example, give them the opportunity. Every interest is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Teach respect for others

Boys should know that every person deserves respect. Sharing conversations about diversity and acceptance can help foster open-minded attitudes. A child should know when to be a teammate and when, and how, to lead wisely. Discuss this with your son and set a good example. Respect learned at home will translate into respect for both peers and strangers.

Show that strength is not about domination

Boys are often bombarded with images of masculinity based on dominance and aggression. Show them that true strength comes from cooperation, empathy, and the ability to listen to others. Talk together about healthy relationships. Teach boys that each partner in a relationship has the right to set their own boundaries, and that violence and coercion are unacceptable.

Traditional Values ​​of Courage - Patterns from the Past

While contemporary approaches to masculinity focus on breaking down toxic stereotypes, it's also important to remember the positive role models our ancestors embodied. Traditional values ​​of manhood are often tied to the roles men played in the past—as caregivers, providers, and protectors. Many of us have fond memories of fathers and grandfathers who were true pillars of the family, exuding warmth and love.

Strength based on support, not domination

It's worth recalling these positive examples when we talk to young boys about what it means to be a man. Mentioning beloved fathers or grandfathers can emphasize that male strength isn't always about voicing one's opinion loudly or dominating others. It often relies on quiet self-confidence, the ability to listen, and support for those closest to him. A strong man can protect his family, but he does so out of love, not a desire for control.

Masculinity in balance with modernity

Boys can be proud of the traditional values ​​of masculinity passed down to them by our ancestors. They can support their families and demonstrate courage, determination, and responsibility. However, balance is key – these values ​​shouldn't lead to toxic dominance or aggression.

It's also important to remember that every boy is different and may define his masculinity differently. Therefore, our mission is to help them find a balance between traditional models and a modern approach to masculinity that promotes equality, cooperation, and mutual respect.

As we support boys in discovering their own masculinity, it's important to draw on both the positive traditions of the past and modern values. Let's show them that true strength lies in support and understanding, not domination. In this way, we help shape men ready to take on the challenges of the future with love, respect, and courage.