How to build a true and honest relationship with your grandchildren

Grandparents are treasures to children, and grandchildren to grandparents. But how can we avoid falling into a stereotypical perception of this relationship on both sides, meaning that Grandma isn't associated solely with squeezing in extra soup and Grandpa isn't associated with DIY? How can two different generations find common ground and engage in interesting activities, and build a genuine relationship? We offer some advice!

How to build a true and honest relationship with your grandchildren

Building a relationship with a child requires mutual respect. It's also worth remembering that the model of parenting and care has changed significantly since grandparents had their own children. Grandparents should work with parents to establish general rules for dealing with children, for example, during their stay at Grandparents' home.

Discover the most interesting ways to spend time with your grandchildren

The simplest rule, however, is to accept the fact that grandparents are primarily there to spoil, not to raise.

In search of common interests

The easiest way to build a relationship with your child is to follow their interests. It's not about keeping up with the latest trends, but you can also take an interest in what your granddaughter or grandson is listening to all the time.

Ask your child to play you their favorite song. Listen with interest and consider whether you know any artists your grandchildren might like. Offer to play them your favorite song too. Your child will surely appreciate your interest in what they like and will be eager to learn about your tastes. Who knows, you might even start recommending music to each other.

These recommendations can also be applied to other areas. Tell a sports-loving child about the achievements of your favorite athletes or watch a match together. For a bookworm, lend them a favorite book from your own childhood and read a comic book you borrowed from your child.

Be your child's biggest fan

If your little one's interests are completely beyond your capabilities, such as dancing or computer games, simply become a loyal supporter and fan of your grandson or granddaughter. Attend your little one's performances and matches, or even cheer them on while they're playing online games.

Listen carefully to your child's hobbies, and the next time you meet, ask about them, such as whether they've leveled up in their favorite game or how the last season of their favorite TV show ended. Your child will surely appreciate your interest in their life, even if you don't share their hobbies.

Advice

Remember not to criticize your child's hobbies or tastes, as this will only lead to withdrawal and a reluctance to share their interests further. Be open – even if a child's hobby seems strange or unnecessary, for example, if your child shows you funny videos online, respond with polite interest.

Mindful time together

Try to find time to dedicate exclusively to your grandchildren. Whenever possible, don't limit yourself to talking with your children while doing household chores or watching TV. A child will definitely appreciate playing together more than a perfect dinner.

If you don't have the energy for active play with your child, choose an activity that will be fun for both of you but won't require much effort, such as watching a children's movie together. The lack of such a shared activity (regardless of your good intentions) will make your child think of the grandparents' home as a waiting room for their parents, rather than a place where they have people who are actively interested in them.

Spending time together shouldn't be viewed through the lens of a parent's obligation to care and support. Children should feel that their grandparents simply want to spend time with them. It's also important to occasionally organize time together without their parents' involvement, such as shopping with Grandma or going to the cinema alone with Grandpa.

Active activities for grandparents and grandchildren

Whenever possible and while it's healthy, try to make your meetings with your children as active as possible. Toddlers express themselves primarily through movement. You can go to the playground or amusement park with them, but of course, you don't have to participate in every activity. The key is to ensure that children don't associate meeting their grandparents with, for example, boring (for them) table games.

However, if your health does not allow you to exercise more, try other attractive but more static activities, such as making music together or playing board games.

Grandpa and Grandma are wisdom and skills

Little ones just discovering the world will greatly appreciate your life wisdom and help in learning new skills. Try to be wise teachers for your children, who don't criticize but rather help them with everyday challenges. Teach them how to repair a bicycle or catch a ball, or help them solve a math problem.

Stories from life and childhood can also be valuable lessons for little ones. Stories full of good people, friendships, and wonderful moments will inspire children to live well.

We leave raising children to parents

Wise grandparents know that raising a child is the parents' responsibility. Limit your efforts to admonishing children when they misbehave. Don't question parents' decisions in front of the children, and discuss any issues with an adult.

Be assertive and transparent about your abilities. Let your grandchildren's parents know if you can't or don't want to care for them at a given time, or if you find their behavior unacceptable.

Together, establish childcare rules in your home and then pass them on to the little ones.